Post 3

I am reading this book and theres one part from it that I absolutely loved:
God's greatest gift, after life itself, is love.

This past weekend was really awesome. I spent some time with some new friends from church and then we went to a different church on Sunday to see my cousin get baptized. So, of course, when I spent some time hanging out with girls from church, we got talking on the subject of babies. I was the only one there that wasnt pregnant or already a mom. One of the girls mentioned that I need to boldly pray for myself; for the Lord to heal my ovaries. Then church on Sunday the message was about how we need to take steps to being bolder as Christians and making our prayers really matter. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I have not once prayed for healing for myself. The only thing that I have prayed for is that I dont have to go through years of fertility treatment. I never prayed for the Lord to just heal the issue before I even have to start treatments. For some reason, I never saw it as a huge issue because Im not dying from it and I honestly didnt see myself as worthy of miraculous healing. But really, when its something that affects me daily, it is a huge issue. And I do deserve miraculous healing just as much as the next person. So I have been praying for God's healing touch over my body.

That same friend reminded me that Gods timing is so perfect and God already knows my baby. He knows which egg and which sperm will create my baby and it has to be the perfect match. It cant be a moment too soon and it wont be too late. God has it all planned out perfect.

Sundays message was so great. How many of our prayers are "God help me do good at work", "help my kids in school or in sports", "help me make more money". Really?! Those are our prayers!? When do we start getting real and start diving deeper into our faith and praying for things we really need Gods hands in??! We need to open our hearts and minds to Gods plans and be open to letting Him move in our lives.

The other day I was walking through my house and Tyson was barking like crazy at me and I was trying to get him to come to me so I could pick him up. He was just barking at me and wouldnt let me hold him. I thought "dang Tys I just wanna hold you and love on you and snuggle you up, I know whats best, Im your mom!" And that hit me. Thats probably the Lords exact thoughts, "shut up Ashley, stop yipping and let me love on you. I know whats best for you!" I constantly forget that God loves me exactly how I am and for who I am. I dont have to perform for Him to recieve blessings from Him. I keep thinking what else do I have to do to prove to God we are ready for a baby? And really I dont have to do anything. He doesnt have a check list for me to complete before we can have a baby. He has a perfect plan for me and He loves me. I dont have to perform; He is tender and loving and gentle.

I know that God has a perfect plan for my life. And I have always known that but this weekend brought that back into focus. And I know that there is a new little creation in that plan. And that little creation is a life i Love already.