Post Eight

Holy Hormones! Has anyone else felt like they dont know what is going on and their doctor just expects them to know and understand every detail, timing, and definition? Its safe to say that at this moment, I am extremely overwhelmed. I have looked up the basic order of different fertility drugs and methods and with all this IUI, IVF, CD, PCOS lingo- I am lost. I mean I get the jist of everything but I dont feel like I know everything I need to know. Maybe thats a feeling that comes with the territory. So in the midst of all these side effects and hormones, I found this tid bit of information that let me breathe:

For women under age 35, the question is more about which PCOS treatment will work- and not so much about whether any treatment will work.

I get so anxious knowing that we are on the right path and wandering if this is the step that will work. I have to remember that all this is a process that takes time. I keep telling myself that no matter what happens at my next doctors appointment, I will keep a positive outlook and know that God has His hand in all of this. He knows the desires of our hearts, He knows the exact moment my body will cooperate, He knows my baby by name already! I get so caught up in trying to educate myself and seeing statistics and worrying that sometimes I overlook that God knows exactly whats best.

Its crazy how things change. And I mean that for the good. Before this I had to remind myself to pray it seemed like. And now I am praying all the time...at work, in the car, in the shower, while I walk to my car. And its crazy how my prayers have changed. It used to seem like my prayers were "God please let me have a good day, please help me stick to my diet, please help my business grow." While those are all very real and valid prayers, there isnt much depth to them. Now I pray for my husband, our finances, our house, our parents, peoples lives to be saved, not only for my business to grow but for the community see God all over the salon, to use me to reach and teach others, to give me opportunities to tell of Gods love, I pray for my babies to be strong and healthy and little warriors that can teach Gods truth, I even pray over the medications I take- that these will help my body to produce perfect follicles. And at the end of prayers, I try to remember to thank Him for every blessing He has already given me and to thank Him for the cross and for giving His life for mine. He gave His life for my sweet babies, and so I could be a mommy someday. I always figured I would have kids, but I never imagined how this stage of the game would feel. I never knew that little life i Love could change my heart so much.